The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
I forgot wine drunk hurts
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
Randomize
