Note to self. Never fart in a tanning bed
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
