i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize
