If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
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