The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
Randomize
