i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
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