You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
Randomize
