It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
Randomize
