I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
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