how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
So I have to send you an email about my weekend, heretofore referred to as The Perfect Weekend. Wherein I have lots of awesome sex with a guy with THE MOST AMAZING BODY.
I look forward to this email. I will respond with, Condoms and Creepers: The Adventures of Online Dating.
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
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