you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
Randomize
