okay pat passed out under dana's car
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
Randomize
