I got chris browned last night
ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
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