I'm jealous of your bromance
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
He did a backflip because drugs
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
Randomize
