Don't you send me to vm
Who wears a wallet chain?!
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
Randomize
