I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
He's a Shit stain on my heart
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
Omg. I'm living macklemores best life. I have someone's granddads dog, I'm about to have someone's grandmas car. I look incredible.
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