; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
Randomize
