Dual....:-)
I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Randomize
