five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
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