Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
Randomize
