there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
Randomize
