Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
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