it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
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