Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
The beer is more important than you right now.
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
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