to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet.
That explains the puddle of pee in my closet.
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
When did angry sex become our thing?
I FOUND THE LEGS
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
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