haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
Randomize
