I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
Randomize
