i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
Randomize
