The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
