dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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