he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
Randomize
