from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
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