hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
I accidentally asked my mom for a blowjob because 'mom' and 'molly' are next to each other in my address book.
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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