I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize
