Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
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