Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
The streets are paved with hand jobs
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