wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
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