Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
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