He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
Randomize
