There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
the bastard is cheating on me with some sleazy barista from Starbucks
That’s his wife they’re back together
You say potato, I say sleazy barista
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