I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
Randomize
