I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Randomize
