the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
