will power is for people who don't want to get laid
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
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