She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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