yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
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