We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
Randomize
