I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
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