im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
the night ended with taco bell and tears
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
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