Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
can we get nightvision for the apartment?
Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
porn star boner night. come get it.
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
Randomize
