i wish starbucks made bloody marys
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
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