do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
Randomize
