maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
