Have you finally orgasmed yet?
I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
You are a genius and a whore.
Randomize
