Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
Tomorrow's Mother's Day and the only thing I can afford is beer and the McDonalds dollar menu. Do you think a Budweiser and a Big Mac says thank you for me fucking up your life since 1990?
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
The adults are the big ones right?
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