On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
